This week I celebrate an important milestone – my four-year soberversary. I’m reminded of it every year because I have an old-school ritual that prompts me to remember special occasions.
At the start of the new year, I buy a diary from the newsagency and the first thing I write in it is birthdays and anniversaries.
Despite the fact we now universally use digital diaries and apps, I persist with paper diaries because I love the symbolism of surviving one year and arriving safely at the crisp newness of another, with a fresh batch of empty pages to fill.
The first anniversary I write in my new diary is my soberversary on January 11. It feels soothing to have notched up another year of sobriety and to reflect on all the good things that happened, at least partly because I didn’t spend any of it drunk or hungover.
So as an exercise in new-year gratitude, here are five reasons why I’m recommitting to another year of sobriety.
Big financial savings
These are the things I no longer spend any money on: alcohol, cigarettes, taxis and ubers, hangover food, and replacing things that were lost or damaged while drinking. That adds up to thousands of dollars a year not going down the drain. And as we know, the more inebriated you get, the more loosely the money and the shouts flow. My quit app tracks my savings and with the money I haven’t wasted on alcohol and cigarettes, last year it paid for a new kitchen and timber floors. It’s a visual daily reminder of how much life improves without addictive substances.
Sober Sundays never get old
One of my new mantras is that ‘nothing good happens after midnight’. When you’re sober, you get to experience all the fun stuff and none of the bad stuff. You get to go to social events and have conversations you enjoy and remember. You get to wake up fresh on Sunday morning and not have to drag yourself through the day while you fake being fine. You get to be clear-headed and guilt-free with none of the nausea or fatigue or anxiety that comes from a big night and not quite knowing if everything you said and did was ok. For me, the ultimate gifts of sobriety are peace of mind and a sense of self-worth that kind of feels more real and fits more comfortably.
I’m off the addiction rollercoaster and never want to get back on it
The polite thing to say when you quit drinking is that while you choose to abstain, you respect other people’s choice to drink. And while that is true and I happily socialise with people drinking and with zero judgement, it ignores the moderation myth. Many people who drink alcohol struggle to drink in moderation and the reason for that isn’t because of a personal flaw or weakness. It’s because alcohol is a drug and like all drugs it can be toxic and addictive, which means it is very easy to lose control of it. My hope is that we one day have the same cultural shift with alcohol that we’ve had with cigarettes and come to fully acknowledge how much harm it does, physically, mentally and socially.
I’m relieved to be safe from alcohol-related diseases and accidents
The reality is that alcohol kills – sometimes quickly because of accidents and sometimes slowly because of chronic diseases. As an ICU nurse, I’ve seen both types of alcohol-related deaths and they are equally sad and tragic. I think that’s a big part of why I hope my sobriety is a permanent decision. It’s not just that I’ve seen the worst possible outcomes, it’s that I’ve seen how common they are. Young people falling over at parties and suffering traumatic brain injuries and permanent disabilities; middle-aged people who drink regularly ending up in a critical condition because of liver and gastrointestinal diseases; elderly people on blood thinners tripping over after a few drinks and hitting their heads, causing life-threatening bleeding. Just everyday people doing everyday things that end tragically because of alcohol. When I think about my own alcohol consumption, I honestly feel like I dodged a bullet and hope I never put myself at risk like that again.
All my relationships are better
One of the best things about being a non-drinker is the stability and consistency it brings to your life. You never lose time or flake on people because you’re drunk or hungover. You never say thoughtless things because your judgement is impaired by alcohol. You’re never depressed or emotional because of the after-effects of drinking. You’re never distracted with loved ones because you’re all up in your own head. Sobriety helps you become a better version of yourself – a version you can feel proud of – and that benefits everyone around you. I was 49 years old before I found what I hope is permanent sobriety and my only regret is that I didn’t do it years earlier. Much like smoking, no one regrets quitting drinking and I hope I get to put my 5th soberversary in next year’s diary.
How sobriety became my superpower instead of my Achilles heel – Sister Sally
